ResidentAlien《外星居民（2021）》第三季第二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx
外星居民前情提要PreviouslyonResidentAlien*'.地球上到处都是灰人混血ThereareGrey-humanhvbridsallovertheEarth.如果有人搞小动作我会知道的Ifanybody1Suptosomething,llknowit.我要走了麦克斯但你很特别mgoingaway,Max,butyou,respecial.只有你能看见外星人You'retheonlyonewhocanidentifyaliens.我就是外星追踪者IamtheAlienTracker.我有话要跟你说Ineedtotellyousomething.约瑟夫是个灰人JosephisaGreyalien.我要再次跟约瑟夫约会了mqoingtogoonanotherdatewithJoseph.我会找出你要的信息好吗llfindoutwhatyouneedtoknow,OK?我跟你一起拯救地球YouandIaregonnasaveEarthtogether.J我相信那闪烁的JJIbelieveinthestars?J满空繁星JJThatcovertheskyJJ我相信高高在上的月亮JJIbelieveinthemoonabove/70年前别走太远宝贝天黑了Don'twandertoofar,honey.It'sdark.我相信上帝创造它们jlbelieveGodmadethem是为了让我们寄托梦想JForyouandItodreamon温泉真不敢相信你跟外星人是朋友Ican'tbelieveyou'refriendswithanalien.他有几条肢体Howmanylimbsdoeshehave?6个还有锋利的牙齿和黑色的舌头Six,withrazor-sharpteethandablacktongue.酷Cool.而且他用馅饼沾燕麦粥Andhedipshispieinoatmeal.真野蛮He'sabeast.准备好了Getready.你们就要见到活生生的外星人了You'reabouttomeetareal-lifeextraterrestrial.你来这F什么我不喜欢有客来Whatareyoudoinghere?Idon'twantvisitors.而且你知道我讨厌AndyouknowthatIhate有自行车停在我的车道上bikelinesinmydrivewaydirt.外星人就爱开玩笑Aliensarealwaysmakingjokes.进来吧Comeon.我给你讲个笑话Ihaveajokeforyou.什公东西有三个头Whathasthreeheads而且必须马上离开我的房♥子你猜andhastoqetoutofmyhouseandit'syou?我们Us?你听过这个笑话Oh,you'veheardit.等下那个暴躁的头巾小Y头呢Wait,whereisgrumpyheadscarf?她搬走了-丢下你一个人Shemovedaway.-Andleftyouhere?那就像切下一只鸡的脑袋Oh,that,slikecuttingofftheheadofachicken然后看着它歪歪倒倒撞向墙andwatchingitsdumblittlebodyrunintowalls.我不需要萨哈尔Idon'tneedSahar,而且我也不是一个人andmnotbymyself.我创建了外星人俱乐部Istartedanalienclub.他们是玛丽和里奥ThisisMariandLeo.我已经忘了你们叫啥Ihavealreadyforgottenyournames.玛丽-里奥Mari.-Leo.我们来这就想让你变身外星人Wecameheresoyoucouldturnintoanalien给他们看看你的真实样子andshowthemwhatyoureallylooklike.这个小兔崽子已经够坏了Thislittleshitmonkeyisbadenough.我可不想多两个白♥痴♥围着我转Idonotwanttwomoreidiotschasingmearound.我不明白你在说什么Idon'tknowwhatyou'retalkingabout我不是外星人mnotanalien.他骗人He'saliar.你才骗人You'retheliar.麦克斯都不是他的真名Maxisn'tevenhisrealname.他叫朱塞佩It,sGiuseppe.没关系我真名叫毕夏普It'sOK.MyrealnameisBishop.毕夏普Bishop?我明白为啥你不愿说真名了Iseewhyyoukeepthattoyourself.那我就没办法了Youleavemenochoice.我一直在找这个电击枪Ihavebeenlookingforthattasereverywhere!早就该想到是这个小杂种偷走了Ishouldhaveknownthislittlepeckerstoleit.现身吧外星入Revealyourtrueselfnow,alien.我想拿回来Iwantitback.它能让我的咖啡几秒就热Itheatsmycoffeeinseconds.但如果我抢走他们会觉得我在意ButifItakeit,thevwillthinkIcare可能就相信我是个外星人了andmavbelieveIamanalien.我还是等等Iwillwait.反正这个白♥痴♥Itisonlyamatteroftime迟早会电到他自己beforethisidiotzapshimself.我就知道他不是外星人1knewhewasn,tanalien.我们还是走吧Weshouldgo.我叫麦克斯我是新的外星人追踪者MynameisMax,andmthenewAlienTracker.人类终其一生Humansspendtheirentirelives相信自己是特殊的存在believingtheyarespecial.即使死了也会想尽一切办法Evenaftertheydie,theydoeverything继续维持特殊的存在感intheirpowertoremainspecialforever-建墓碑颁纪念奖章tombstones,plaques,或是以他们名字命名的旧图书馆oldlibrarieswiththeirnamesonthem.不久前地球上最聪明的人Notlongago,thesmartestmindsonEarth还相信太阳会绕着他们转believedthesunrevolvedaroundthem.事实E多数人类点也不特别Thetruthismosthumansarenotspecialatall.你好混球你也不特别Hello,asshole.Youarenotspecialeither.我有阿斯塔并肩作战我们会共同找出IhaveAstaonmyside,andtogetherwewillfindout你来这的原因whyyouarehere.乱扔垃圾罚款501.itteringisa$50fine.我知道Iknowthat我正要放进我车里m.puttingitinmytruck.如果是液体就不算乱扔了It,snotlitteringifit'sliquid.这下我要再买♥♥一杯咖啡了NowIneedtogetanothercoffee.约瑟夫是灰人JosephisaGreyalien.你不能再跟他约会Youcan'tqoonanotherdatewithhim.不是约会It'snotadate.我只要在晚餐时坐他对面Ijusthavetositacrossfromtheguyatdinner让他有兴趣留下来andkeephiminterestedinstaying.听起来跟我的约会没两样Thatsoundslikeeverydateveeverbeenon.只要让哈利有足够时间搜查他的公♥寓♥就行JustlongenoughforHarrytosearchhisapartment.你真的相信哈利的计划吗ButdoyoureallytrustHarry'splan?他上个计划是啥来着不是摧毁地球吗Whatwashislastplanagain,todestroytheEarth?结果呢Mow'dthatworkout?什公都还在Uh,everything'sstillhere.达西我保证你不用担心我好吗D'arcyzIpromise,youdon'thavetoworryaboutme,OK?我会没事的llbefine.好好极了OK,great,yeah.我知道你会没事因为我要跟你一起去I-1knowyou'llbefinebecausemcomingwith.我就在柜台附近陪你mgonnabeatthecounterasbackup.不不行No.Noway.约瑟夫会认出你的Josephwillrecognizeyou,OK?那他就会有所提防Andthenhe'llbesuspicious.我连我爸都没说1.ook,Ididn'teventellmydad.万一有危险呢Whatifitgetsdangerous?你还记得在双绳跳赢了劳拉罗伯茨那次吗DoyourememberwhenyoubeatLauraRobertsatdoubleDutch结果她把你的头像鸵鸟一样塞进沙子里andsheshovedyourheadintothesandlikeanostrich?才没有Notreally.也许有吧Maybe.但那是三年级的事了Thatwasthirdgrade,though,OK?我能照顾好我自己Icantakecareofmyself阿斯塔你更喜欢Asta,doyouprefer糖果蛋糕还是红丝绒蛋糕aconfetticakeoraredvelvetcake?我觉得派好因为如果你吃不完Ithinkpie,becauseifyouareunabletofinishit,我就可以吃了I'lleatit我会后悔这么问的为什么呢mgonnaregretasking,butwhy?在我的星球有个美好的仪式Oh,thereisabeautifulritualonmyplanet就是每当我们派自愿者thatwheneverwesendoffavolunteer去执行自杀任务时onasuicidemission,就要为他们准备最后的晚餐weprepareforthemalastmeal.你不准去You'renotgoing.再见哈利Bye,Harry.那就派好了putpie.我会没事的我会好好的
