Futurama《飞出个未来（1999）》第八季第六集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

（蜂巢思维说放轻松）（老妈牌老式机器人润滑油）（吃吧!单身狗粮）（现推出口味）（集体催眠时间）（单身狗粮）（老妈牌友善机器人公♥司♥）（行星快递）（装饰品）（艾米班德弗莱-赫米斯莉拉）（尼布勒-尼布勒的寄生虫）（教授-佐艾伯格）圣诞节快到了Ah,Xmasseasonisuponus.封锁周边！Securetheperimeter!雷射灯都布置好了？Razorlightsinplace?是的那么退后Roger!-Then,standback!入侵警报Intruderalert.圣诞老人绝对进不来Santa'snotgettingpastthat!Noway!不可能,除非他破门而入之类的Unlessheknocksitdownorsomething.-Hey,robot.嘿,机器人有人在你的袜子里留下一张卡片Someoneleftacardinyourstocking.奇怪了That'sweird.我通常都从我的屁♥股♥收信Normally,Igetmaildeliveredtomyass.（我知道你在明年圣诞节做的事!）"IknowwhatyoudidnextXmas!?好喔,真奇怪！Okay.Random!我好奇你会做什么？Iwonderwhatyouwillhavedone而且谁会知道未来的事？andwhocouldpossiblywillhaveknownaboutit.我会做很多事,可能现在就要做了Eh,Idoalotofstuff.mprobablydoingsomethingrightnow.（通缉）（传票）（最后警告）谁准备看第一部佳节卡♥通♥特别节目？Who,sreadyfortheirveryfirstanimatedholidayspecial?好好玩喔！Hooray!-Sofun!随便吧Whatever.等我!我喜欢跟别人家小孩一起看Ooh!Waitforme.Ilovehavingotherkidsaround.今年重播的是每个人都有节日Thisyear'srerunofhere,saHolidayforEveryone由老妈牌老式除血剂赞助播出.isbroughttoyoubyMom'sOldFashionedBloodRemover.（现推出燕麦香料口味）Nowinoatmealspice.圣诞节和宽扎节到了还有光明节福个人都有节日那个节日就是圣诞节AndthatholidayisXmas.嘿,孩子们,你们想不想在这佳节的特别节目Hey,kids,anychancey'allwannaremixthisholidayspecial,改听精彩的宽扎节机器人的故事？andhearthedopestoryofKwanzaabotinstead?或是你们最爱的呆瓜魔像光明节丧尸的故事？Oryourfavoritegoofygolem,ChanukahZombie?不要!说圣诞老人的故事给我们听No!TellusaboutSanta!又要听？Again?对,每年都要听！Yes!Everyyear!（友善机器人公♥司♥）圣诞节的古老传统是从2801年开始TheancienttraditionofXmasbeganintheyear2801,当时友善机器人公♥司♥研发了个高能机器圣诞老人whentheFriendlyRobotCompanydevelopedahigh-poweredmechanicalSanta短秒能送出超过五份超大礼物capableOfdeliveringoverfivemega-presentspersecond.（秘密圣诞老人,测试范围）喂Hey.他们为圣诞老人安装奢华的碳纤维靴子Theytrickedhimoutwithapairofcarbon-fiberTims和一个铝合金好坏小孩感应器andachromenaughty-nicesensor.这样他会知道哪个小孩有资格收礼物哪个小孩应当接受残酷惩罚Sohe'dknowwhodeservedgiftsandwhodeservedbrutalpunishment.对,那可能就是一连串错误的开始Yo,thatmight'vebeenthefirstmistakerightthere.但在圣诞老人送第一个礼物时疯狂的悲剧事发生了ButonSanta'sveryfirstdelivery,somethingwenttragicallymeshuggenah.他的好坏小孩感应器故障了Hisnaughty-nicesensormalfunctioned.天啊,那真是太可怕了Man,that'ssomebleeped-up(klaxon).耶,圣诞老人来了Yay!Santa'shere!天啊Oh!Ohmy!谢谢Oh,thankyou.抱歉孩子们msorry,kids.我从来没想让你们知道圣诞老人是真实存在的IneverwantedyoutoknowSantawasreal.圣诞季新闻,各位！Yuletidenews,everyone!我知道怎么修好圣诞老人IknowhowtofixSanta!什么意思？怎么修？whatyoumean?Howtofix?我只要偷偷接近他Ijustneedtosneakuponhim把他的感应器反转andreversethepolarityofhisnaughty-nicesensor.但圣诞老人时刻提防他人攻击ButSantaisalwaysonguardagainstattacks.Justlikeme.就跟我一样Hii-yah!-0w!你永远无法偷偷接近他You'llneverbeabletosneakuponhim.透过空间接近不了但透过时间或许可以Notthroughspace,no,butthroughtime,probably.是这样的圣诞老人只能提防当下时空的攻击Yousee,Santaisonlypreparedforanattackfromthepresent.所以我一直在为我的旧时光机加速Sovebeensoupingupmyoldtimemachine.它在哪里？Whereisit?你该问的是,它在哪个时空？Thequestioniswhenisit?答案是,就在.Andtheanswerisrightabout.此刻！now!太神奇了,我根本不在乎它压到我的脚It'ssoamazing.Idon'tevencarethatit'sonmyfoot.我安装了一个有倒♥退♥档的手动变速器veinstalledamanualtransmission所以现在可以回到过去也可以前往未来withareversegear,soitcannowgobackwardintimeaswellasforward.我计划回到2801年Myplanistobackuptotheyear2801,从开始出错那一刻whenthingsfirstwentwrong,并在圣诞老人离开这座壁炉时出现在他身后andmaterializebehindSantaasheexitsthisveryfireplace.2801年时这栋建筑存在吗？Didthisbuildingevenexistin2801?对,当时这里是某种肉铺Yeah,butbackthen,itwassomekindameatmarket,那里的屠夫会把肉吊起来放进绞肉机做成香肠wherebutcherswouldhookupandgrindtheirsausages.对,总之,等到了那里Yes,anyway,oncethere,我会迅速反转圣诞老人的感应器I'llquicklyreversethepolarityofSanta'snaughty-nicesensor,然后回到现在thenreturntothepresent.问题就解决了Problemsolved.教授?问到过去改变历史不是很危险吗？Um,Professor,isn'titriskytogobackintimeandchangehistory?天啊,对Ohmy,yes.但我会独自去尽量降低任何人变成自己祖父的机会ButI'llgoalonetominimizethechanceofanyonebecomingtheirowngrandfather.这种事发生过Thesethingshappen.没有啦No,theydon't.下次你们看到我时圣诞老人会恢复善良Nexttimeyouseeme,Santawillhavebeengoodagain!再见Ta-ta!回到几个世纪前Uh,justacoupleofcenturiesstraightbackwards.（倒♥退♥）糟糕!我压到麦格迪太太的时间猫Damnit!IbackedoverMrs.McGillicuddy'stimecat!寓合器换档,出发了！Clutch,shift,and.awaywego!（倒♥退♥,公元2996年）（考兹曼的二手肉铺）（2801年12月25Fl泮夜12点1分）（考兹曼）（男爵,香肠）（给圣诞老人）Ho-ho-hot!（考兹曼先生考兹曼太太-小斯齐）好烫hot!饼干Cookie.饼干Cookie!（1分钱3021年）饼干Cookie!只要换档到未来Justshiftintoforwardand.（倒♥退♥,公元2801年）糟糕,我意外换档到过去了Oh,bother.Ishiftedintoreversebyaccident.我想我就带时光机走风景路线Iguess11havetotakeheraroundbythescenicroute.宇宙大倒♥退♥爆♥炸♥来了Ah,herecomestheBigBackwardsBang.我被过去挤压成一点了！0w!mbeingcrushedbyallthematterthateverwas.来了,未来！Andhereweare,thefuture!情况怎样？很简单！How'ditgo?-Notahitch!我修好圣诞老人了IfixedSanta!好耶-干得好,教授yeah.goodjob!这会是我冷冻后再也没见到家人以来第一个快乐的圣诞节It'llbemyfirsthappyXmassinceIgotfrozenandneversawmyfamilyagain!等一下Now,holdon!距离圣诞节还剩一星期Xmasisn,tforaweek.在那之前我们会忙得不可开交Untilthen,wegotnonstopbusywork.胡说,我们别再假